Articles by Julius Nicholson
There are lots of birthdays at the moment. Emma Watson who plays Hermione Granger, artist and visionary Samantha Fox and topless model Leonardo da Vinci.
Monday 15th March
Goodness gracious great balls of falafel.
Jerry Lee Lewis is the last surviving member of the million-dollar quartet.
Once had the great fortune of seeing Jerry Lee Lewis, I was right at the front. He …
I’m like Billy Bragg but with a massive piece of halloumi instead of a guitar.
The Doctor just loves Clear Spot Organic Tofu. Davros can’t stand it. I think that’s what gives our man the edge.
Used my new bionic muscles to go running the in the crags. Made Usain Bolt look like a stoned tortoise full of vegetarian hotdog sausages.
Still wondering why I can speak German after the accident. Heilige Scheiße die Paprikaverletzung.
Austin Stevens, a Suma member, was injured in a freak accident when a consignment of polenta went critical due to bad paprika.